Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Posted on Updated on

If you’ve never had a reason to feel guilt in your life – well – jolly dee then. I’m great at guilt, and I sometimes have to give myself a shake to stop heading over the hill with it and just being a miserable sod forevermore. I carried all sorts of guilt and regret around with me for so many years that it coloured every aspect of my life some sort of shade of grey. Then – a couple of years ago – I got into karma yoga, and for a respectably long time I lived according to about ninety five percent of its teachings. Some things I don’t believe need to be given up to be a good person, so I never did give them up. Now I’m back to most of my old sinnin’ ways, but I managed to hang on to quite a lot of the good stuff.

One thing I’ve learnt is that guilt is a good thing – in moderation. Just the same as all the other emotions we are given to deal with, it serves a purpose. In this case the purpose of being aware that we have done something wrong, so it’s just as educational as all the others. It should never go on forever though. I don’t think that whoever’s in charge of things around here would get a kick out of anyone wallowing in sadness and despair for years and years because of something that has been done, and can’t be undone. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself just as you forgive others in order to move on with your life, and not compound whatever you’ve done wrong to warrant your guilt by wasting the rest of it.

Casting a really honest eyeball back on my own life was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Memories of painful things are sometimes best left buried according to quite a lot of people, and sometimes the memories of the mistakes and hurts inflicted by yourself are much more hurtful looking back than the memories of the hurts done to you. Blah, blah, get to the point Jo. The thing is, that once something is done or said, it generally can’t be undone or unsaid. Some people never take the blame for their own hurtful actions, blaming everything else including the kitchen sink instead, rather than accept that nasty guilty feeling. Some put it right out of their minds instantly, and never think about it again, but that causes problems. Whatever is in your memory never goes away. It just sinks to a deeper level – possibly causing invisible problems to your psyche in general, because no matter what you tell yourself to get through your days, at your core you know wrong from right. But maybe you never knew at the time.

That’s why I reckon that properly focusing on these things is good. We’re not the same person we were yesterday. Feel all the guilt or shame, or whatever it is that this memory brings on. Your guilt means that you’re sorry, and that if the same situation arose again, you wouldn’t do now what you did in the first place. Lesson learnt. Make amends to whoever/whatever you hurt as best you can. Then put it away or discard it. It’s all part of the human condition, and part of whatever this crazy lesson is all about. I have a sneaky suspicion that we’re actually supposed to be happy bunnies at the end of it all. So if you truly are sorry, and have done your best to fix or make up for that bad thing that you did or said, move right along with your life, because not being as happy as you can with the life you have ahead is probably going to be another thing to go in the guilty box – a final regret for when you’re finally ready to depart this mortal coil. You have permission to be happy and enjoy yourself. In the words of Stephen King, “Done bun, can’t be undone.” So.

Not sure what brought that on – it’s the rain I reckon. Guilt brought on by rain-rage. Still though, sometimes we do things throughout the course of our lives that are just plain bad, so the best we can do is own them without being destroyed by them, hard or not. It really pains me when I see a friend so overwrought by some instinctive or unthought-out act in their pasts that they literally waste years of their lives. Now – smile and give yourself a hug.

Birds Free_PC_Images_1024x768

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “Don’t Worry, Be Happy

    Forget the Viagra...Pass me a Carrot! said:
    April 16, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    Reblogged this on Forget the Viagra, Pass Me a Carrot and commented:
    Good advice. I once was offered some reduced fat and sugar chocolate which came with a tag line “guilt free chocolate” afraid it did not taste half as good!

    Like

    Cay said:
    April 16, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    I’m a ‘Should-have’-person. There are all things that I should do, but that I don’t do, for various reasons. Sometimes I have a good excuse, but not always. That creates a dreadful, heavy, sense of guilt and inadequacy. I’m working on it, getting better at shrugging it off. Yes, to almost everything in moderation.

    Like

    John W. Howell said:
    April 16, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    Rain guilt is the worst. I used to get up after a particularly bad day and vow to make this one better. “At least no one died,” became my mantra at times.

    Like

    M T McGuire said:
    April 17, 2014 at 2:02 am

    You cannot undo the past but you can learn from it to make today and tomorrow. 🙂 how trite do I sound but you get my drift, I’m sure.

    Cheers

    MTM

    Like

    The Story Reading Ape said:
    April 17, 2014 at 7:45 am

    Well said Jo, getting monkeys off your back, or carrying your old luggage load of faults, is not easy, but it is possible to offload them and it DOES often make you a better (instead of bitter) person more at ease with yourself.
    It’s worth a try at least, after all, you can’t walk away from yourself, even if you can walk away from your troubles 🙂

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      April 19, 2014 at 2:03 am

      True Chris – it also hopefully makes you a little kinder when others trip and fall. If a pucker monkey hopped on my back, I’d seriously clock out instantly. 😀

      Like

    ailsaabrahamwp said:
    April 17, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    It may be trite but my old Ma used to say – No experience is wasted if you learn from it, no matter how bad” and I’ve found that to be true. Instead of kicking myself all round the house, I ask what I’m supposed to learn from this. I don’t always get it right but slowly, slowly, the lessons are working. Bless you for being so honest with this, Jo. xxx

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      April 19, 2014 at 2:06 am

      Your old Ma is wise. I found it really hard to wrap my head around some of the really stupid stuff I did when I was younger – but I’ve definitely learned from it, and I have let it go now – can’t live with constant regret/sadness. 🙂 xxxxx

      Like

    Bumba said:
    April 18, 2014 at 4:54 am

    I feel guilty about all my regrets. Or rather, I regret all my guilt. Huh?

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      April 19, 2014 at 1:57 am

      Understandable but painful. If you’re regretting it that’s enough – time to leave it behind, forgive yourself, and be happy. 🙂

      Like

    mihrank said:
    April 18, 2014 at 9:03 am

    Reblogged this on mihran Kalaydjian and commented:
    Don’t Worry, Be Happy

    Like

    annetbell said:
    April 18, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Beautiful picture. Thanks for the visit and the like. Please return again soon !

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      April 19, 2014 at 1:39 am

      Thank you, and welcome! I’m looking forward to reading all that you have to say from now. 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s