Sit a While, but Stay

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These last few weeks I’ve noticed a couple of bloggers I really like disappear. Not just go silent for a bit, as we all have to do now and then, but actually shut down their sites. Every time I see one of those notices my stomach lurches a little at the thought of all the work they’ve put in for years just totally vanish forever. I always miss them, and I wonder what it was that pushed them over the edge, or made the idea of blogging any more just seem too much. Maybe it’s because a lot of us have really high expectations of ourselves, and we sometimes think that not being able to work pretty much 24/7 equals failure. So we spread ourselves too thin, take on too much, agree with too much, because we’re too nice to ever say no. Procrastination and having a bit of fun are big evils and never to be tolerated. Maybe we think wrong though.

death

I’ve seen loads of articles on how to beat procrastination, or laziness, depending which word you prefer to use. I’ve also seen a couple of truly lazy buggers who really do just want to sit around doing nothing all the time. I understand when severe depression can lead to a couple of days on the couch watching reruns and mindlessly munching ice-cream, but that’s not the kind of sofa driving I mean. I believe that now and then we should all be as lazy as we like – not that I’ve had time for a good laze myself for a while now, so hopefully nobody thinks that I mean me.

HVDY

Humans are the only creatures on the planet who feel pressure to always be doing something constructive. Other animals take goodly chunks of their days to just hang around staring into the distance doing absolutely nothing – unless they’re being chased by some toothy thing, or in a stressful situation. I believe this is good for you – a bit of inward gazing soul food maybe, and the lack of it a possible reason for us being the most peculiar species in the world. So, even though I don’t (YET) practice what I preach, I honestly think that a bit of procrastination, doing nothing at all, or something silly or apparently trivial should be included in all of our lives.

lazy

Lazy – funny – all good.

game

I have serious problems with jobs waiting to be done. They lurk in the corners of my mind, and generally taint whatever else it is that I’m doing at the time. Occasionally it all just seems like too much, and then brain-freeze ensues, where all that there is, is panic and guilt bouncing between ears, and that makes for nothing at all to be done. And then more panic and guilt, and your very last marble finally sneaks off to try and lose itself. Then a little lala land followed by a, “Well, buggritt. Everyone’s going to hate me anyway – I’m off to watch some TV” could easily happen.

bugger

Maybe this is what happens to many of the people who disappear from the bloggerverse. It’s a shame though, because most people don’t see us the way we see ourselves, and they definitely don’t have the same crazy expectations of us. While you’re thinking that people see you as lazy, indifferent, selfish and downright rude, the opposite is probably true. And if they think you’re a tool for reasons of their own. Well…

nice

I personally haven’t managed to stop my zoomy ways, but I will when I’m caught up to where I want to be, and that won’t be too far in the future. And then I’m definitely going to get my lazy on at least a couple of times every week. Don’t make the rules that you make for yourself too tough, but if you do, and find that you can’t keep up, change them – slow down for at least a while – take all the time that you need. The people who genuinely like you would much rather have you in their world less often, than for you to disappear entirely.

time

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49 thoughts on “Sit a While, but Stay

    Jack Eason said:
    July 26, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Reblogged this on Have We Had Help? and commented:
    More on the need for blogs to be maintained, no matter what…

    Like

    Jack Eason said:
    July 26, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Here, here Jo. In me at least you have one fan. 😉

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:28 am

      Thanks Jack! And you have a huge fan in me too! 🙂 X

      Like

    coldhandboyack said:
    July 26, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    I’ve noticed this too. I established a relationship with a few bloggers, and they fell off the face of the Earth. I always wonder if something bad happened to them, and their relatives never thought to notify the online world, or didn’t have the password.

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:27 am

      That’s another point – I suppose blogs will just hang around forever in that case. That’s a little sad and also quite cool knowing that your words will stay in the world anyway. I’ve got such a rotten memory that all my passwords are in a fat little book ready for any unexpected departure. 😀

      Like

        coldhandboyack said:
        July 29, 2014 at 11:13 am

        I applaud those people for trying something new. If it wasn’t their thing, they shouldn’t have to keep it up.

        Like

          jorobinson176 responded:
          July 29, 2014 at 11:24 am

          That’s true. It’s amazing how long we sometimes go on doing things because we believe we should, even when it’s not fun.

          Like

    christineplouvier said:
    July 26, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    If the reason why a blogger gives up is an apparent lack of readership (despite the blogger’s having published a sufficient quantity of quality reading material, and maintained an active presence as a reader, too), the fault may lie with the choice of blog theme, and how the blogger has managed traffic from the WordPress Reader.

    A blog theme that makes the writing hard to read (such as by using tiny, sans-serif print, especially if it’s presented as a light color on a dark background) will be too hard for a lot of people to read. I’ve experimented with browser settings to try to remedy this, but it doesn’t always work, and in many cases, permanently making the browser override page settings to fix problems with one blog theme, messes up the legibility of others.

    The WP Reader automatically remedies this, by greatly magnifying the font and presenting it on a plain, white background (which compensates for the font being sans-serif). But, unfortunately, use of the WP Reader doesn’t credit page views the same way, so many bloggers force readers to visit their pages, by only permitting a short excerpt to appear in the WP Reader.

    If I remember that a particular blog has an illegible theme, I won’t bother going there, no matter how much I want to read the rest of the blog post. If enough readers give up, making traffic evaporate, the blogger’s not going to feel like it’s worth the effort to keep crying in the wilderness, or trying to shout down the ocean’s roar.

    We need to make sure we’re not shooting ourselves in the foot with an unfortunate choice of a blog theme.

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:24 am

      This is such a great point Christine! I have actually been wondering if the writing on my current them is too light, and I’m with you on not going back to blogs with themes that are really hard to navigate. It’s so easy to start a blog, but we should probably learn a lot more about how to run them effectively. 🙂

      Like

    Cynthia Reyes said:
    July 26, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    I agree.

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:20 am

      HUGS XXX 🙂

      Like

        Cynthia Reyes said:
        July 29, 2014 at 10:59 am

        Thanks! The other day I actually emailed a blogger to say “Where are you? Everything okay?”

        Like

          jorobinson176 responded:
          July 29, 2014 at 11:58 am

          I love that you did that! In fact, there are some truly wonderful caring friends right here in the bloggerverse that make it such a lovely place to be, and you’re most definitely one of them. X

          Like

            Cynthia Reyes said:
            July 29, 2014 at 3:50 pm

            Thanks, Jo. Again, you’re so spot-on. Here’s what Jacqueline Ramsey, the blogger whom I “checked up on”, wrote on her own blog:

            There I was, late the other night, still not in our new house, and still countries away from hubby, feeling tired and a little lonely. In came an email from Cynthia who reads my blogs and often comments. She was wondering what had happened, why she had not seen any new posts recently. It felt like a boost of adrenaline because she cared and took the time to say so. Knowing a little bit about her life and the chronic pain she has to manage, I know how difficult it is for her to maneuver and live a normal life. Yet she took the time to write. The very next day came another email from another reader saying something similar.

            I remembered that not so long ago I had emailed a friend to say I had seen some of her design work and how great I thought it was. It was a simple message, very short and quickly forgotten by me but she was over the moon! She called me on the phone with such joy in her voice for having received the email. She had been having a bad day in her chaotic life and this had helped her transcend to a place of joy. Her plan that day was to pay it forward and I felt happy that I’d taken the time to email.

            My message today is simple. Tell someone you are in contact with today something really great about themselves, their work, their smile, or what ever else you can genuinely and generously say. No need to be elaborate or expect anything in return.

            It’s a simple way to bring light and joy into another life. It’s a simple way to bring joy to your own life.

            Like

    sondasmcschatter said:
    July 26, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    AMEN SISTER AMEN—— 🙂

    Like

    teagan geneviene said:
    July 26, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    You’re so right — it’s sad whey you get to know people and they just fade out. But i’m still thinking about how much that first graphic is me! LOL. You really got me. Hugs!

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:19 am

      I TOO FEEL LIKE DEATH SOMETIMES. 😀 A couple of times it was obvious that a blogger was having serious issues in their lives, and I’ve wondered if they left of their own accord. It’s amazing how wrapped up we get in our blogger friends lives – for me having a blogger friend disappear for no reason is always upsetting. I reckon they should say so long and thanks for all the fish or something if they can first. HUGS ❤ X

      Like

    Carol Balawyder said:
    July 26, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    Christineplouvier brings up an excellent point. There are so many reasons why a blog could fail, another one being content that takes too much time to read or is too complicated. We all have comments to respond to in our own blog posts, comment on bloggers we follow, create content, read about blogging or following a webinair related to marketing and blogging. Then, there’s our books to write not to mention that we have other lives besides blogging.
    And the later might be a good reason why some people stop blogging. Their lives have become too busy. Blogging eats up too much of their time with their partners, children friends or enjoying the outdoors.
    There has to be a balance. When I first started to blog I was told that i should post every day, if possible. That was a lot to ask. I now post twice a week and that keeps me busy plenty. It’s not just the blogging but all that comes with it. And then add to the mix: Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter etc.
    No wonder some people drop out of the blogosphere!

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:13 am

      😀 I was also told that posting every day was a must, but you’re right that it’s not possible. It can take all day zooming around all the other sites too if you’re not careful. For me I must do my writing first thing in the day or I end up writing drivel, and then there’s generally not enough time left to visit every single site. It is quite a life we scribblers lead indeed!

      Like

        Carol Balawyder said:
        July 29, 2014 at 1:24 pm

        Very time consuming. No time to be bored, that’s for sure.

        Like

    theowllady said:
    July 26, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.

    Like

    olganm said:
    July 27, 2014 at 8:19 am

    Thanks Jo. I think we forget along the way how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learned in the process. We all need a break and nobody can be everything to everybody. We should be kinder to ourselves…

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:07 am

      We really should Olga. It’s been an amazing process too, and what you say makes me suddenly think of all the things I knew nothing at all about a couple of years ago, and now get to do every day. Love it! We deserve a bit of kindness from ourselves most of all. ❤ XXXX

      Like

    ihidemychocolate said:
    July 27, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    I feel very connected to my blogger friends and am sorry when they leave and wonder about them. We put so much pressure on ourselves to write frequently and brilliantly. Every post must be a masterpiece! I actually have formally given myself permission to write shorter blog posts and not feel pressure to do it every week. That said, I am constantly wondering what to write about next and wondering if it really matters to anyone but me. And maybe that is okay. I like writing and find it therapeutic. Maybe that is enough. But before I sit down to write today, I have to do a load of laundry or two, check my Facebook, let my blogger friends know that I’m reading their posts. And I think I’ll let the birds play in the sink. And then I’ll get down to writing. If it’s not too late. xo

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:05 am

      Your posts always resonate with me Sally, especially because you’re so genuine and it’s obvious you write straight from the heart. I’d much rather have the genuine less obvious than desperation very often. ❤ XXXX

      Like

    WeaverGrace said:
    July 27, 2014 at 11:35 pm

    “Procrastination” is a hot word for me. I launch daggers at anyone who accuses me of it. I mean, really, who can do it all? We choose. Some things sit on the back burner for a “long time”, but eventually they get to be high on the list of ToDos or Deletes.

    May you never be “caught up to where [you] want to be”. That will be the end, and I think that you agree that at the end, we continue to find infinity. I’m glad that you want us to be in your world less often rather than disappear entirely. Here here. May you feel good about declaring your intention, and good about getting better at “just hang[ing] around staring into the distance doing absolutely nothing.”

    I protest when I read or hear someone state that bloggers “should” post every day/week/month/whatever. Each blogger is an individual with personal blogging goals: numbers of followers/likes/comments, posting frequency, content standards, design standards… Many blogs are killed by not meeting those goals, however unreasonable or unrealistic they might be. Thanks for bringing the focus to what each of us needs so we can continue to meet here, in line with our own goals, and not disappear entirely.

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 7:00 am

      True, true – I agree totally with all you say! I also don’t like those rules you see around cast in stone – I reckon that would lead to blogging becoming a chore and not something you enjoy doing, and I wouldn’t want that to happen to me. I love my blogger family with all the things that they get up to, and whether they log on every day or every couple of weeks makes no difference to how much I enjoy them. Ha haaaa! Got me there – I’ll never be caught up! 😀 ❤ XXXX

      Like

    Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
    July 28, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Right now I have a list of things as long as my arm – with an accompanying justification beside – Will we starve, will the house fall down, does anyone care this is wrinkled, does anyone else notice, I would rather swim. My blog actually keeps me sane – for the first time in many years I have the time to write and I love doing it. The really essential stuff will get done in a timely fashion……

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 6:52 am

      I love the way your beautiful mind works Sally! And – Will we starve, will the house fall down…. LOVE that – it puts things into perspective, and I’m going to swipe that from you. Defrazzle. 🙂 ❤ XXXXXXX

      Like

        Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
        July 29, 2014 at 8:20 am

        We usually have friends in for supper every six weeks or so and that is when the house gets a blitz whether it needs it or not!! XX♥

        Like

          jorobinson176 responded:
          July 29, 2014 at 9:41 am

          Lucky you! Most of our visitors tend to just arrive, so they often get a well earned eyeful. We’re a messy bunch – especially the horde. 😀 ❤ XX

          Like

    laurie27wsmith said:
    July 28, 2014 at 11:21 am

    There must be something like a mythical elephants graveyard out there for fading blogs. 🙂

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 6:48 am

      There must be thousands of them too – every now and then I get some sort of flea in my ear and start up a new WordPress site, and then there’s never time to post on them and I’m too scared to delete them just in case I end up deleting this site in the process. Now there’s a thing! Maybe some of those guys just hit the wrong button! 😛

      Like

        laurie27wsmith said:
        July 29, 2014 at 11:17 am

        They could have hit the wrong button. I’ve deleted a site and wordpress will only get rid of what you click on. Go on, you can do it. 😉

        Like

          jorobinson176 responded:
          July 29, 2014 at 11:20 am

          You reckon I should? Right! I’m going to delete one now – if I disappear now you will have to fetch be back from the ether. 😀 UPDATE – Do you happen to know where the delete blog button is?

          Like

            laurie27wsmith said:
            July 29, 2014 at 9:39 pm

            Oh you’re so funny Jo. 🙂 I’ll use my psychic powers to snatch you out of the ether. 😉 Okay, serious now.
            http://en.support.wordpress.com/delete-site/
            Go to this wordpress page and it will run you through the whole process.
            Cheers
            Laurie.

            Like

              jorobinson176 responded:
              August 3, 2014 at 7:41 am

              Thanks Laurie! I’ve just done one, and now waiting for the email confirming it from WordPress. That was still really SCARY! LOLOL! 😀

              Like

                laurie27wsmith said:
                August 3, 2014 at 11:39 am

                Glad to be of assistance Ma’am. I’ll just put my white hat on and ride off into the sunset. My work here is done. 🙂

                Like

                  jorobinson176 responded:
                  August 3, 2014 at 11:41 am

                  I can just picture you doing that in your gorgeous Australia too. 😀 X

                  Like

                    laurie27wsmith said:
                    August 3, 2014 at 1:24 pm

                    I used to have a white Stetson but it blew off my head and down under the slasher on the tractor. I no longer have a white hat. 😦

                    Like

                      jorobinson176 responded:
                      August 6, 2014 at 2:00 pm

                      Aaaaw! 😦 That’s quite a violent death for a Stetson though – shredded the poor guy. 😀

                      Like

                      laurie27wsmith said:
                      August 6, 2014 at 10:45 pm

                      It was a xmas gift from my grandchildren which made it even worse. 😦 he went quickly though.

                      Like

    Sherri said:
    July 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    This is such a great post Jo as I’ve wondered the same thing from time to time about disappearing blogs. This is also timely for me too as I’ve just put up what will be my last post as I’m going away for a week and then catching up with so much that has been put on the back burner for far too long in the second week. I didn’t intend to take a couple of weeks off blogging (and I’m already having withdrawal and really worried about losing my momentum and readership by doing so) but it needs to be done. I’m in rural France for one week with no internet, so will be totally unplugged!!! AAAAArghhhhh…..!!
    You describe me here…I get so overwhelmed sometimes with all I need to do that I can actually freeze, panic and then in overload not achieve anything. I have times set aside to do certain things like today for instance, I will have to take my daughter food shopping and pack (we leave tomorrow and not a thing packed) and pay the bills and a million other things, after I catch up here with blogging. But…it’s the way it works best for me. It’s all about balance. You sound as if you are very on the ball and know your priorities. That is the key I think, knowing what to do first and not panic if such and such doesn’t get done – yet. It won’t go away, that’s for sure!!!
    All that to say, I won’t see you now for a couple of weeks, so make sure you are still here when I get back, please?????!!!!! I’ll catch up as soon as I return my dear, lovely friend. Lots of love and hugs and see you soon 😀 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 3

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      July 29, 2014 at 6:39 am

      Rural France sounds magical Sherri – you have a ball! You won’t ever lose this reader, and I’m hoping that we’re going to get some gorgeous pics too. I see lots of bloggers disappear for a bit, and then resurface months later which is totally cool with me – but it gives me the willies when they shut down shop without saying why. Looking forward to your return my lovely Sherri! HUGS and LOVE XXXXXXXX ❤

      Like

    jjspina said:
    August 10, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Love your blogs, Jo, they come from your heart and show what a wonderful and caring person you are. I can see this from all the lovely posts you receive too.

    What Christine wrote from a blogger she reached out touched me. We bloggers are all connected by an invisible string that can be as strong as we make it. I hope that what I say and do in my blog will lift others up and draw us closer together.

    We all have our trials and tribulations daily but a kind word from a stranger goes a long way to cheering us up when we most need it.

    Blessings xo

    Like

      jorobinson176 responded:
      August 17, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      “We bloggers are all connected by an invisible string that can be as strong as we make it.” That’s the most beautiful sentence I’ve heard in a long time Janice – and so very true. You can walk around in the “real” world surrounded by people and still be alone, but those we choose to love and care for here seem to form stronger bonds of the psyche somehow. So many of you mean so much to me, and you’re right – a kind word from a stranger could mean all the word to someone who needs it right away. Love to you my friend, and stay a wonderful as you are. ❤

      Like

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