Quickie Zooming Through Funnies

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Just about to sign off – been trotting around for eighteen hours – cool looking eyeballs though – when this wonderful email from my most amazing friend popped up. Thank you for the smiles beautiful Eleanor – you are awesome! MWAH and LOVE!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don’t try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Hey honey I’m home. What the ..? )

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life – quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone! (and God love that pig!)

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36 thoughts on “Quickie Zooming Through Funnies

    sondasmcschatter said:
    October 6, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Stephen Liddell said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    Whilst some of us obsess over pigs๐Ÿ™‚ understandably so of course. I want to know what is black light and how it makes cat urine glow. I always thought black was an absence of light? Maybe I should switch off the security lights outside… the cat pee might stop me walking into the other more unpleasant presents they leave in the garden!

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:44 pm

      LOLOLOL! Your imagination is SUPURB Stephen – I can see all of that horrible stuff happening now! A black light is what the police use to pick up bloodstains after they’ve been washed away. Gordon Ramsay used it too in his series helping ailing hotels on the bed sheets they gave him to sleep on – blergh! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

        Stephen Liddell said:
        October 8, 2015 at 5:05 pm

        Ahh, ok. In the U.K. we call it UV for UltraViolet. i feel less dim (ha ha) now I know what is meant. You just know I’m going in the garden one night๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Jo shares some funnies that she has been sent.. facts that will make you wonder… and as for the pig!

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:44 pm

      Thanks for sharing lovely Sally! Amazing what we don’t know animals get up to. XX

      Liked by 1 person

    Sue Vincent said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    If the pig’s neither human nor dolphin, it is really missing out….

    Liked by 1 person

    First Night Design said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    The pig one reminds me of that old chestnut: Christmas comes but once a year. Thank **** I’m not Christmas.๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      COOL! ๐Ÿ˜€ Or rather – not so cool to be Christmas in that case. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    TanGental said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Not sure about the pig. If it’s not for fun then is that like eating chocolate when you’ve lost your sense of taste?. And the domestic fly has sex for half its life which is probably just as well given what it eats. Brilliant list.

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:47 pm

      Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ There seems to be rather a LOT of gratuitous bonking in the animal world. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    D. Wallace Peach said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    OMG. Ha ha ha ha. I was rolling on the floor. Still laughing. The commentary was priceless. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    The Story Reading Ape said:
    October 6, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    LMAO – Bet the male pig feels pretty pleased with himself for those 30 minutes…
    One of those occasions when I want to reblog a post but dare not because kids visit as well…
    DARNIT I’m going to tweet and share using the buttons instead ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:49 pm

      Hopefully no pig involved is thinking of England or recipes for mud pies – you can bake a cake in thirty minutes. LOLOLOL!โค๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

    Patrick Jones said:
    October 7, 2015 at 2:24 am

    TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny, Jo! Pressed to reblog later…how funny are those! Hope you’re feeling better๐Ÿ™‚ xoxoxoxoxox

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      GLAD you’re having a lovely laugh Patrick! Thank you! I’m getting better all the time and hopefully will pick up some proper speed shortly. HUGS to you two! XXXXXX

      Like

    noelleg44 said:
    October 7, 2015 at 2:37 am

    What a wonderful post of terribly essential information! The pig orgasm did stop me though.

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:53 pm

      Ha ha haaaaaa! Sometimes it’s just good to laugh even when in slightly wide-eyed surprise. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

    oshrivastava said:
    October 7, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.

    Liked by 1 person

    Suzanne Joshi said:
    October 7, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    Hilarious, Jo, Thanks for sharing.๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      Pleasure Suzanne – glad you had a chuckle! HUGS!๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

    olganm said:
    October 7, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 8, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      Pleasure Olga! I’ll go back to good behaviour now. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

    laurie27wsmith said:
    October 8, 2015 at 1:00 pm

    Makin Bacon!!!! Go wild you lucky pig.๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    davidprosser said:
    October 9, 2015 at 7:49 am

    I’m not even Christmas let alone a pig. I have to ask though, who found that out about the pigs and how?
    xxx Massive Hugs beautiful Jo xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    stuartaken said:
    October 29, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Reblogged this on Stuart Aken and commented:
    A small touch of lightness to brighten your world for a while. Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    stuartaken said:
    October 29, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Thanks. That praying mantis fellow’s got it rough, eh? But the pig….

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      October 29, 2015 at 6:57 pm

      Who knew about those guys?๐Ÿ˜€ Thanks for sharing Stuart!

      Like

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