A Twinkly Twilight Shade of Black Mixed with a Whitish Sort of Colour – Tale – Thingy – and with MERMAIDS!!!

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I’ve fallen properly off the social networking wagon over the past couple of months. This hasn’t been because of laziness or lack of interest – socializing online gives me lots of jollies, so for me it’s not any sort of hardship. Life behaved so whackadoodle out there crazy for a while that apart from leaving me rather speechless in horrified awe of the very levels of nuts that life can occasionally reach, there wasn’t much time for anything other than trying to keep up with damage control in the chaos. Now I’m done with the gaga stuff, most definitely and absolutely done with that, and about to get back up on that online happy wagon. I’m going to have to do something that pains me though. There is no way I can do my usual backwards catch up of everyone’s blogs and tweets this time, so I’m going to do one mighty zoom back as far as I can go and then I’m going to have to delete all the notifications currently in my GMail social column.

email

I should be able to catch up with the Primary emails and everything else fairly quickly with a bit of luck and elbow grease, but if there was anything that anyone particularly wanted me to see I’d be very grateful if you would zoom a link over to my Contact Me page. Also, I’m using Edge as my browser now because Chrome crashed and now just doesn’t open at all, and it feels really weird in general. I missed sharing my really, really scary Halloween story with you on the actual day, so I’ll share it now instead, and yes, it really is very silly. Mermaids in Zimbabwe aren’t sexy half fishies by the way. They’re horrible dervish things that have a penchant for drowning people. This tale isn’t really about them at all though – that’s why it’s so particularly scary.

Fan Fic Tail

“There are mermaids in this lake,” said the driver of the tourist truck unusually covered in dayglo lime green zebra fake fur.
Even though he didn’t believe in mermaids, Edward felt a tremorlicious frisson of excitement pass through him. He bit his lip.
“Gee!” he said, biting his lip some more, and feeling a further frisson twinkle from his toes to his right elbow, and then excitingly on to his spleen, as he imagined an actual mermaid biting his lip instead. “Gosh!”
The driver looked at him in an excitingly derogatory way. Another frisson! Liver this time. Golly!
“These mermaids will KILL you!” said the vehicular operator. “African mermaids LIKE to kill soft boys like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Edward giggled, and bit his lip.
“Oooo!” he said.
“Rubbish,” said the strangely twinkly young lady sitting beside Edward.
He turned and looked at her properly for the first time. He bit his lip. Gosh, but she was so – so SHINY! He didn’t think that he could even DEAL with another frisson today! WOW!
“You are WRONG Miss-. Miss Anastasia,” said the motor wrangling purveyor of legendary – stuff.
“I am BELLA!” gasped she. “How do you know the name of my HAMSTER?”
“Gee!” said Edward, biting his lip. Even MORE frissons!
“I know MANY things,” said the steering-wheel handler, tapping the third eyelash from the left on his right eye, and rotating his right ear. “MANY THINGS, I TELL YOU!!!!!”
“Gosh!” said Edward. He nibbled his lip. Then sucked it a bit. He bit his lip.
“SHUTTUP Christian!” said Bella, reaching over and twisting his nose while inserting her fourteen inch thumbnail into his nostril, and throwing her orange juice into his lap. Also her doughnut. And an elderly Chanel lipstick.
“OOOO!” frissoned Edward. “I’m EDWARD!!!!! NOT CHRISTIAN! Golly!!!”
He really wished he could bite his nose himself. Frisson upon frisson! He imagined Anastasia Bella biting his nose. WOWSER! He bit his lip.
“DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!” whispered the sixteen fingered man in the back row, brandishing a toffee apple on a stick made from the seventh branch from the exact top of a particular Mopani tree which was home to exactly two thousand four hundred and one Mopani worms. And a single thousand and two year old tsetse fly incessantly plagued with insectual hives. He made the sign of the hamster, JUST IN CASE, and turned his right thigh left and right five times, and then right and left two and a half times. Precisely.
Edward bit his lip.
“STOP THAT!” intoned Bella, squirting her grapefruit into his left eyeball. “I’m really going to HURT you!”
“Ooooh!” said Edward. “Gosh!”
He bit his lip.
A piece of toffee apple and an aged tsetse fly fell scratchingly into his lap.
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The End

 

35 thoughts on “A Twinkly Twilight Shade of Black Mixed with a Whitish Sort of Colour – Tale – Thingy – and with MERMAIDS!!!

    Sue Vincent said:
    November 5, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    Haven’t been able to get onto Facebook for ages now… I dread to think what the inboxes there look like! Glad you’re back, Jo!

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 5, 2015 at 5:55 pm

      Thank you Sue! I’m really looking forward to just resuming “normal” again. Facebook actually scares me a bit – there’s always piles there, and even when I’m not so far behind in general I always am there. Need to do better I reckon. 🙂

      Like

    Annika Perry said:
    November 5, 2015 at 5:58 pm

    Glad to see you back and hope everything is better for you now. I think everyone has to drop off social media now and then for various reasons and you definitely shouldn’t stress about it. Pick up from now. Warmest wishes

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 5, 2015 at 6:01 pm

      Thank you Annika! I suppose we tend to be harder and less understanding with ourselves too when these things happen. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

        Annika Perry said:
        November 5, 2015 at 6:04 pm

        Isn’t that the truth! Why do we never learn to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we are with others? Take care 😀

        Liked by 1 person

          jorobinson176 responded:
          November 5, 2015 at 6:11 pm

          You too Annika. 🙂 With a bit of luck, sooner or later we do learn just that. X

          Like

    Sue Dreamwalker said:
    November 5, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    I can easily relate to this Jo.. my email lists are huge.. and I start usually by those who visit me regularly🙂 when ever I try to catch up.. Thank you for all your Likes.. I so appreciate you taking time out to visit. xxx Hugs Sue

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:19 pm

      I love visiting you Sue – your mellow words and wonderful art always bring a smile. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

        Sue Dreamwalker said:
        November 11, 2015 at 3:05 pm

        Jo, thank you so much..🙂 that is a wonderful compliment Many thanks xxx🙂 Big smiles xxx

        Like

    Charles Yallowitz said:
    November 5, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Welcome back. That’s a frightening email amount. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:21 pm

      Thank you Charles! I reckon I’m there now, although it’s a sure thing that I’ve lost a thing or two. I need to sort out all the blogs I follow by email – too many, but I don’t want to miss anything from those I follow.

      Like

    philipparees said:
    November 5, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    Glad someone else disappears, but welcome back.

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:24 pm

      Thank you Philippa! I’m really good at disappearing without trying at all.😀

      Like

    olganm said:
    November 5, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    Hi Jo. Forget about it and go on from now. It’s impossible. You can’t stop the river, or more like a waterfall, really, of information. Pleased you have your sense of humour intact. I think the readers of either saga’s head would explode if they read your story. Thankfully… I haven’t read either thing…

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:25 pm

      True Olga! Waterfall it is. I was worried about that fan base, but I’m only having fun so no harm no foul. 😛 X

      Like

    D. Wallace Peach said:
    November 5, 2015 at 8:37 pm

    13327 gmail notifications! I have a heart attack when I have 200. OMG. Ha ha! Yes, delete and start fresh. Welcome back.🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      Love your sense of humour laughing at my massive pile – LOLOLOL! It is funny really. 🙂 X

      Liked by 1 person

    T Ibara Photo said:
    November 6, 2015 at 12:57 am

    Hello Jo,
    So nice to see a new post from you. I’ve also been away for some time, and slowly starting to catch up to my favourite sites. Other folks have already commented, but I agree, sometimes it’s necessary to step away from the virtual world and live in the real one. As wonderful as technology is, I think the majority of us somehow get dragged along into the currents and forget to use it with balance. It doesn’t help that “everyone” seems to be doing so. But your friends and loyal followers will understand and not expect you catch up to thousands of messages. Please remember to take care of you!❤
    Warm wishes,
    Takami

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      Thank you my lovely Takami. I’m glad you’ve been away too, so I haven’t missed your posts, and now we both are back. 🙂 HUGS!❤ XX

      Like

    noelleg44 said:
    November 6, 2015 at 2:11 am

    And i thought I had a lot of email. Good luck with that! A great fun post!

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      Thank you Noelle! Sometimes you just have to be silly or cry instead. 😀

      Like

    inavukic said:
    November 6, 2015 at 9:18 am

    Sounds like a good plan, Jo – need to make the painful cut somewhere anyway when it comes to “nuts of life’s bends and turns” they’re endurable when mixed😀

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:29 pm

      Thank you Ina! I find it very painful deleting without reading, but there’s no point in hanging on if you’re never ever going to get there – best to dive in the right now. 😀 X

      Like

    Suzanne Joshi said:
    November 7, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Welcome back, Jo. I’ve gotten behand so many times because of a combination of computer, printer, and health problems I don’t feel guilty about deleting any more. It becomes a way to save my sanity. I’m slow at ansering email anyway. I sit here and emails poor in as fast as I do others. I feel like Alice in Wonderland running to stay in the same place.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:31 pm

      Thank you Suzanne! Hopefully you aren’t having any of these nasties happening right now. We need some potion a la Alice maybe? 🙂 X

      Like

    dgkaye said:
    November 9, 2015 at 1:49 am

    Great plan Jo. When we fall behind, the simplest thing to do is catch up what we can, and move forward. So you’re liking edge? It came as the browser on my newest laptop and I immediately downloaded internet explorer lol.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you Debbie – you’re right! Hopefully all the falling IS behind now. 😀 Aah – Edge – when I first downloaded Windows 10 I thought it was fabulous for a while – now I regret it. It was shortly after I made Chrome my default browser that it crashed. I’ve got it back now, but I don’t like what 10 does in general. Way to invasive and bossy I reckon. I might go back to Firefox as a browser, although I generally like Google bits. 🙂 X

      Liked by 1 person

        dgkaye said:
        November 11, 2015 at 7:45 pm

        Thanks for the heads up JO!🙂

        Like

    blondieaka said:
    November 10, 2015 at 10:06 am

    Wow! That puts my list into prospective .Love the story… I write in a similar way to you but am being discouraged from doing so, but it doesn’t have the impact does it? So I think do my own thing…Thank you🙂 Ohhh and welcome back🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      jorobinson176 responded:
      November 11, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Never allow anyone to tell you how or what to write. I would stomp as hard as I could on the toes of anyone that tried that with me. Thank you for the lovely welcome back, and go stomp on toes! 🙂 XX

      Liked by 1 person

    Caz said:
    November 11, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Thank you Jo..some toe stamping I will do🙂

    Like

    Patrick Jones said:
    November 11, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Glad you’re back little buddy! Stay healthy!!

    Like

    Ali Isaac said:
    November 14, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    Dont even try, Jo! Delete it all and start again. I’d say you probably follow to many blogs. I do too. You need to trim them. So do I. We followed them for a reason, right? Its like killing your darlings. But you need to do it for your mental health lol! Goos luck! And your story… hilarious, and a tad uncmfortable lol! 😁

    Like

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