Ancient Aliens

Lost Civilisations and Dinosaur Dragons

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The combination of a computer seemingly in the process of conking out, and my usual interesting internet connectivity issues, I’ve done pretty well in the temper tantrum department lately. I still have quite a bit to trawl through on my desk dinosaur and transfer to the laptop, so there’s a definite underlying sense of terror there that I’ll lose something. This last week every time I’ve tried to load up my actual Twitter page I’ve been confronted by a weird gobbledegook of text, so a few small falls there, temper wise. This morning I managed to actually open it properly, and so far my dinosaur hasn’t rebooted itself once. Calm prevails, and no innocent passer by is likely to have his ears assaulted by foul Irish curses.

That’s the thing though. My Irish heritage is only the half of it. I had eight aunts and two uncles on my mother’s side of the family alone, which kind of negated the aura of virtuous innocence my granny liked to project. My grandfather was six foot four inches of carrot topped Irish terror, and within the gaggle of cousins there was always some sort of feud going on. Family get togethers generally started out with a lot of loving it up, but invariably ended with some sort of verbal brawl, especially after Uncle Cedric got down towards the bottom of his bottle of single malt. My dad died when I was six, my mom got together with an Italian guy, and he brought his rowdy lot into the fray. I had a loud childhood. Tantrums were normal. So you can see now how absolutely brilliant I am by controlling my unavoidable temper gene, and being so wonderfully accepting and tranquil. I’m humble also. Really.

Yesterday I couldn’t hook up to any of my sites properly all day. A while ago this would probably have resulted in a computer being hurled out of the window, but now I see that there really isn’t any point to getting cross. I’ve done everything I can now, and this is as good as it’s going to get for me here and now. This internet is what it is. And if I fail to win friends and influence people because of it, it won’t be from lack of trying. So I sloped off with the horde to catch up on my Ancient Aliens again. Then I had a bit of time on my hands. So. I hope you’re comfy.

I don’t disagree that aliens have been visiting us. I don’t agree either. I do think that it might be wrong to credit aliens with all the major building work more than a few thousand years ago though. Who knows what sort of things happened here back in the mists of time. If you watch a series called Life After People you’ll see how quickly the trappings of a civilization will be obliterated when there’s nobody around to look after them. Apart from nuclear waste and rocks, not much survives over thousands of years. One thing that’s always struck me as weird is the fact that after six million years of human evolution, homo sapiens only popped up around two hundred thousand years ago, apparently never progressed very far beyond flint tools and arrows until a couple of thousand years ago, remained really thick even then, and then suddenly got incredibly “civilized” only in the last hundred years or so. I never believe anything I can’t actually look at myself, but if I do see something that exists, I don’t see any point in agreeing with “theories” about it that aren’t logical to me – I believe what I see, no matter how odd it may be. All of this eyeballing of ancient structures has me firmly believing that in Earth’s past there were hugely technologically advanced civilizations. What happened to them is another story. They all seem to have disappeared. Maybe they were wiped out by each other or climatic events, or even little green guys from the planet Zog. Who knows? But I will never believe that these mysterious ancient places were built by people wielding the simple tools that the experts of the day insist were used in their construction.
Ollantaytambo is one of those fascinating places where, as in many such sites around the globe, there is much more ancient construction under the top level of the structures believed to have been built in 1440 AD. These ancient structures are around 14 000 years old.
Slabs weighing fifty tons were cut out of a mountain face, moved down said mountain, over a river, and then fused together using some sort of really high heat source.
wall of living rock
The stone in question is called Andesite – a pretty hard rock, and today would have to be cut using a very powerful tool. So I’m looking at these things, and wondering why I’m being told that this area was definitely only populated by hunter gatherers 14 000 years ago. It makes no sense at all. This was not done by a couple of muscly guys in loincloths with a couple of flakes of flint.

Then there are the ancient “Cart Ruts” on Malta – 10 000 years old. Ruts carved into the rock, consistently equidistant, that zoom around for metres in some places, and in others, miles. This can only have been used as some sort of rail system. Nothing else makes sense here either. Hunter gatherers moving their nuts?
malta cart ruts
Still on Malta you have more ancient temples, but a lot more fascinating is the underground structure.
malta underground temple
I can’t imagine what approaching disaster made people all around the world head underground, but there literally are dozens of underground cities thousands of years old. And those are only the ones that have been found so far. There’s one at Derinkuyu in Turkey that’s a bit mind blowing.
It goes down several stories, can comfortably house 20 000 people and their livestock.
It’s beautifully constructed with storage rooms, winepresses, and pretty much anything I would want to be a happy camper.
There are perfectly designed ventilation shafts and huge stone sliding doors. These can only be opened from the inside, and each floor can be totally cut off separately. It really makes me wonder why such a large society would head underground and lock themselves in. Hunter gatherers hurling arrows?
It makes me think that if some terrible disaster were to take out most of our population today, and maybe only a few hundred people were left scattered around and about, their focus would be on physical survival. Within generations it’s very possible that their descendents wouldn’t be able to read or write, and maybe as the remnants of our civilisation mostly crumbled to dust, they’d go back to the wilds entirely. Languages would be lost forever, and those that survive will change. Anything is possible after all. In another ten thousand years they may have formed a completely new civilisation though, with new modes of building, transport, and power generation unrecognisable to us. Our computers, kindles, paper books, most housing and vehicles would all have degenerated and broken down by then. They would dig up a couple of interesting artefacts I’m sure, but probably not have too much of a clue what they were looking at. The huge events of our times, especially the one that took us out, would become legends, to be scoffed at and disbelieved by those far off future progeny of ours. The old rock structures at Tiahuanacu and other places around the world would more than likely still be around in ten thousand years, and maybe a couple the things we’ve built would still be too, but I doubt that they would give much indication of life as we know it today.

I don’t see any reason to believe that dragons didn’t actually exist either. Considering the shape of dinosaurs, and the fossils now being found proving that a lot of them had feathers. And the mystery of the collective unconscious, or instinct, or whatever you’d like to call it, makes these strange writerly visions seem like ideas, when really they’re just memories. So. Now you understand the lack of internet tantrums. Without it I head off to LaLa Land. A bit.

Till next time friends. xxx


Life On Head

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I’ve been catching up on back episodes of Ancient Aliens and Through The Wormhole while I’ve been banished from the WWW. Purely for research purposes of course. Well truthfully, I do like to keep up to date on the current life status of the thing that resides on top of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos’ head.
In the latest series, it’s changed colour and morphed into new and vibrant shiny black. It seems to have had some sort of deep rejuvenation because it’s moving around, and undulating a lot more than usual. I wonder if he knows where it came from. Or even if it’s there. Alive. On his head.
I found the bit on the churches of Lalibela (Ethiopia) especially interesting. I always find any news on the ancient civilizations of Africa particularly interesting, because in good old colonial times they were never mentioned. It’s a bit hard to promote the myth that it’s necessary and indeed most cool to stomp on people because they’re savages, when you have to explain that their ancestors seemed to be quite a bit further up the civilisation ladder than yours at the time. These churches were carved literally out of the bedrock under ground around 300AD. And apparently King Lalibela was assisted by angels doing the night shifts with the building of it. Who’d have thought? I wonder what today’s construction workers would have to say if handed a mallet and pick – and a bucket I would imagine – and told to just be getting on with that sort of thing.
This church in Aksum (also Ethiopia) is also most impressive. Apparently it houses the actual Ark Of The Covenant. Nobody’s ever allowed to see it though, except the priests. What is it with people saying who can and can’t see things? As a fully paid up occupant of this round, space travelling rock, I hereby assert my right to see anything at all. Everything there is to be seen in fact. I take full responsibility if I conk out after eyeballing little green men, or jazzed up little flying saucers, or of course, any sort of legendary relic. When did we get so lumped into a pen of obedient little sheep. Revolt I say! Anyway.
Now. The ruins of Baalbek are in a different league altogether. How would we cut, lift, and perfectly position a 1 500 ton rock today? With some very big boy and state of the art equipment I’m thinking. And then not a walk in the park either. Rewind to 2500 BCE and the mind boggles a bit. How on earth did they do it with their hand carved spears and home woven rope? Even if we could get past the how, the why’s a bit odd too. Before the Romans came along later and plonked one of their own pretty awesome buildings right on top of it, as you do, it was just a humungous flat construction. Giorgio reckons spaceship landing site – I think that could just be the head creature talking though. Then again…
Just for fun, wonder for a moment how the savages of the day utilised this incredibly beautifully constructed pool at Mohenjo-Daro. I’m not seeing hooks anywhere for them to hang their loincloths though. I really do wonder what it would have been like in the day. We really have no clue how advanced those people were, because writers of history are so adamant that up until very, very recently we were all using the club on the ear method of dating, and sitting under trees looking for fleas in each others head creatures. It will be cool when serious science starts seriously looking at these things, and admitting that they haven’t got a clue either, instead of saying things like – in between looking for insects, a million of our ancestors gently pulled each massive rock a few inches, for seventy five generations until they were done, then left the awesome constructs to crumble away, and headed off with their clubs to find some nookie. Really guys!
Finally, I unfortunately cast my eyeball upon this very odd thing. It floated up onto a beach one day, and is fondly known as the Montauk Monster. I don’t have an opinion on it really, I just thought that it might liven up Thursday for anyone who’s having a particularly tedious one.

Till next time friends. xxx