facing your fears
Right up to Sunday, which turned out to be a brilliant day altogether, last week was crap in every way. 2013 has to have been the weirdest year I’ve ever had, with impossible things happening – both really good and really bad – back to back. My stubborn sense of trying to see the good in everything, and belief that every bad thing generally happens for a good reason or outcome, finally started to cave under the pressure, and good old anxiety set in. Shake, rattle, and roll, and I’ve still got the shoulder ache to prove it.
Yesterday we went for a braai with some lovely friends, met a lovely new friend, and had a really relaxing and great day at their gorgeous home. There’s nothing like spending time with people you like, people on the same wavelength, laughing and chatting about subjects that interest all of you, to get you out of a funk.
So, feeling really positive and once again able to string a sentence or two together, good old McNabs super-chill pack of holistic herbal peace pills doing their work, I’ve got my mojo back, and I foresee a good week of scribbling ahead. I’ve even got a better grip on my germ phobia, after being well sneezed upon in the bank, and managing not to sprint out immediately and buy a bottle of Dettol to disinfect – spending forty five minutes in a queue does wonders for embracing those funky germs.
A more interesting twist to the week. We’ve discovered that there could be a wee ghostie in these parts. To be honest, the feathered horde have been a bit put out and nervous on a night or two – with Beanie the parrot girl exiting her own warm bed and heading over to mine a couple of times. Birds don’t usually move around in the dark, and mine never have before, so this struck me as a little odd. And the whole horde has been reluctant to go to bed a few times. The occasional case of goosebumps for no reason, and general sense of not being entirely on your own, has now been explained by hearing of a small brown thing being seen flitting around and about here, and others feeling a general sense of unease.
I’m guessing that we haven’t finished with this – it’s two am right now and I’m feeling properly creeped out. Bring on the medicinal champers! It could just be that writing about these things will do that to you, and the rain is bucketing down. ‘Tis a dark and stormy night – sort of thing. I’m quite a coward when it comes to things that go bump in the night. The thought of something unseen being able to interfere with you gives me the proper willies, but I don’t care what sort of an ooh nasty you are – if you interfere with the horde and frighten my feathery guys out of their beds, I’m going to stomp on your spectral self – with a bit of luck and probably some burning sage.
Fear is a funny old thing. Whether it’s a fear of something creeping around when you’re asleep, or fear that your life has taken a disastrously dark turn, and you’re about to crash and burn, it’s never productive to let it get a good grip on you. Dark forces feed on fear – it makes them stronger. Whether that dark force is some sort of spirit up to no good, or a fear that no matter what you do something really horrible is going to happen, ruin your life, and make a mockery of everything you’ve worked for, it’s important never to give in to it. No matter what happens to you in your lifetime, it’s an amazing thing. Your life. Sometimes it helps to look at yourself, your amazingly alive self, and the world around you, and realise that ultimately nothing can truly harm you. You can choose to cower, or you can choose not to waste a second of your allocated three score and ten, and meet every little thing head on. You’re alive on this crazy miraculous rock – you have thought and you have soul – and the ability to choose to face anything with courage, or if necessary, a really big stick. Never let any sort of dark force steal any of your life. Rock on.