how can I find out if I’m normal
Thanks to scribblers the world over these days having to learn how to self-publish their books, and thereby having to learn how to negotiate the old internet, there must be thousands of oldie but goodie techie wizards around and about. It’s a
rite write of passage I reckon.
1. Book written. Log on to the internet with your shiny new computer. Join as many Facebook groups as will have you.
2. Lurk around spying on “real” authors, then suck up to them in the hope that some of that awesomeness rubs off on you.
3. Get hugely impressed when the first fifty pounce on your bones yelling, “OI! Buy my book!”
4. Run away.
5. While hiding in terror in case any more pounce on you, learn about Show – DON’T Tell. Edit the crap out of your book and completely destroy it.
6. Find out that you have to have a Platform first anyway, so ditch the manuscript and join every single site on the interweb, and start building your Brand.
7. Use your most professional and author-like photo for your gravatar.
8. Be overcome with gratitude when a seemingly famous poet starts sending poems to your Facebook message box.
9. Realise you’ve just met your first Troll and he’s definitely reading the wrong kind of literature.
10. Get back to fixing your manuscript.
11. Spend all your money on self-help books on how to make covers, and……. stuff……
12. Make your first cover.
13. Publish your book.
14. Wait for the celebrations, and the sale of your millionth book.
15. Wait some more.
16. Give some away.
17. Find out it might take a while before the celebrations begin.
18. Write your next book.
19. Realise you’re an online GENIUS now anyway.
20. And you’re having way too much fun to ever stop.
Happy Holidays fellow travellers, I love you every one. xxx