Unicorn Murder

Happy In The Jungle Thanks to Fabulous Amazon Suggestions!

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I download a huge variety of books from Amazon for research purposes either for straight away or for later on, so I suppose that when it spins its computer head trying to figure out what I really, really, really like for recommendations, it could get confused. Any non-writer would probably be appalled if they happened to eyeball some of the wild stuff I have lurking on my Kindle, and confirm all their previously unproven suspicions about me in general. Anyway. So there I was, downloading a pile of prepper and how to bug out books, as you do, when up pops an advert for Teriyaki Zombie Jerky. Of course I had to look, but the first review that caught my eye said that it tasted like kelp and ass cheeks, so I decided not to take the kindly Amazon up on this particular offer.

Zombie

I can’t imagine why anyone would actually put that stuff in their mouths unless they feel honour bound to for the purpose of leaving an interesting review. I was actually hard at work before I remembered that I wanted some bug out books for later, but that Jerky threw me off my game a little, so I hung around a bit instead, and found to my horror that not only are Amazon purveyors of the flesh of the undead, but also of some kind of unicorn Spam! The unspeakable horror!

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Thinkgeek-Canned-Unicorn-Meat/dp/B004CRYE2C/ref=sr_1_cc_8?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1430111157&sr=1-8-catcorr&keywords=zombie+jerky

I’m thinking now that there’s something very subversive going on up there. What do Amazon know that we don’t? Where do they keep the unicorns?

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Apocalypse-Survival-Kit-Sardine/dp/B0083IZFDI/ref=sr_1_cc_9?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1430111157&sr=1-9-catcorr&keywords=zombie+jerky

And finally a book – could very well be some sort of secret code in there I think, so now I’m off to get it. I MUST have this book to learn how to avoid huge ships right away! Thank you lovely Amazon reviewers for showing me what I need!

Ships

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